This information is from McKay and Fanning's landmark book, Self-Esteem, 3rd Ed, an excellent book! (Combined with BSFF cuing, this approach can be extremely powerful!)
There are basically two self-worth categories: "situational" and "characterological." Sometimes a person just has a situational problem or issue going on. Many people will need to work with both categories, but here's a great start:)
There are 4 Situational Problems that Negatively Impact Self-Esteem
1. The "Shoulda's" ("I coulda shoulda woulda!"--Beating self up relentlessly.)
2. Perfectionism (Not allowing mistakes and imperfections as a normal, growing part of life. You can even endorse yourself for having the courage to do something even if you make a mistake.)
3. Vulnerability to criticism (Work on not taking criticism personally--have a growth mindset and work on self-validation, acceptance, and considering where the criticism is coming from (is it a valid source?))
4. Non-assertiveness: It's ok that you have legitimate needs! Inventory your wants and needs. Work on putting your needs and your valid wants into words. Then work on saying those words and standing up for your validity as a person. (It is also helps people when they focus on being grateful for what they do have:-).
Situational Self-Worth Work Bottom Line:
Refute the critic, stop the
thoughts (then change the thoughts), identify strengths (list & endorse), and accept yourself (trust in validity). Cue if you know how (see below.)
If you know BSFF then you can cue for failsafes and misbeliefs with each step. Adding in scriptural truth can be SO powerful with cuing! Read some positive scriptures into your phone and cue with them. Remember, use a juxtaposition, cuing on the negative thoughts, then thinking (or saying) the positive replacements and cuing on those. Toggle it back and forth, back and forth, until you start going right to the positive belief. Remember to end with the closing sequence (to seal the deal:-) at least morning and night. I think you'll be amazed at the outcome. More on this later!
