12 Habits to Build Happiness

I like the concepts in the landmark book written by Sonja Lyubomirsky , Ph.D called The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Below is the short list of the 12 Happiness Habits.  I recommend that you read Lyubomirsky's book.  It is excellent!

The 12 Most Common Habits of Happy People are:

1. Expressing Gratitude: Gratitude journals are very effective, weekly, bi-weekly, etc. is excellent.
2. Cultivating Optimism: This can take a lot of practice, especially if you tend to be unhappy.  See the Authentic Happiness website for some excellent help on that: https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/ 
3. Avoid Overthinking and Social Comparison (I like to call this "Celebrate You"): Cognitive Behavioral methods can help with this, as could Mindfulness.
4. Practice Acts of Kindness: This one is self-explanatory.
5. Nurturing Social Relationships: Help others and let others help you!
6. Develop Coping Strategies:  (again, Cognitive behavioral methods can really help with this, as can Solution-focused approaches, journaling, etc.)
7. Learn to Forgive:  THIS IS KEY! Learn to forgive others and yourself.
8. Increase "Flow" experiences:  Flow experiences are those times when you are doing something so interesting to you that you become engrossed and immersed in it, even losing track of time.
9. Savor Life's Joys:  When you have something good happen, do something to help the feelings linger.
10. Commit to your Goals:  Make attainable goals and reach them.
11. Practice Religion and Spirituality: Numerous studies have shown that people who practice personal religiosity, seek to have regular spiritual times, and are affiliated with a religion are happier than those who don't do that.
12. Take care of your body (physical activity and everyday actions) and mind (meditation).

Sonja makes it clear that this approach is for those who are looking for ways to be happier.  It's not comprehensive enough for someone who has clinical depression. In the book she points out that our genes can make it more challenging for us to be naturally happy. (That's where the great news of "Epigenetics," tapping therapies, BSFF, etc. come into play!--the kinds of things I do in life coaching work:-)  If you're looking for a comprehensive program for healing depression or anxiety, please check out the Nedley Depression and Anxiety Recovery Program.  Following this link will give you much information in that regards: http://www.depressionhealinginsights.blogspot.com/ 

The Body's Many Cries For Healing

Are Emotions Related To Illnesses? 

Our mind, body and soul are most definitely inter-related! Here are some emotions that have been found to be related to the following body systems. Keep in mind that an emotion may be housed in all systems, like complicated grief, etc.  If you think what you read below isn't true for you, I suggest you sit with it for a bit and open your mind and heart to the possibility, thinking of your entire lifespan.  If it still doesn't resonate, maybe it's another person's stuff you've taken on (or even your Family Constellation), or it could just not be true for you.  This article took me quite some time to compose.  I hope it is helpful to you and yours.

Body/Organ/Mind Connections and Emotional Healing

Combining this information with prayer, EFT tapping and/or the breathwork routine I have on this blog can be very helpful.  

Adrenal Gland: Conflict (anxiety), Failure, Abandonment, Facing the World  Ideas To Balance: Atonement (At-one-ment),  Embrace the World
Appendix: Fear  Ideas To Balance: Faith

Arteries/Veins: Disharmony, Conflict, Feeling Trapped  Ideas to Balance: Harmony, Peace

Bladder System: Fear, Suspicion, Futility, Anxiety, Anger, Hanging Onto Things, Gender Identity, Obsession with Order or Lack of.   To Balance: Courage, Trust, Hope

Central Nervous System: Abandonment, Wrong, Abuse, Anger, Victimized. To Balance: Forgiveness (this can be self-forgiveness too), Courage, Trust, Hope, Accept God's Love, etc.

Colon: Fear of letting go, Hate of self or others  To Balance: Faith, Awareness, Charity

Connective Tissue: Isolation, Inflexibility, Control  To Balance: Connection, Humility, Trust 

Eustachian Tube: Irresponsibility, Fear of Hearing the Truth  To Balance: Trust in God; Self

Eyes: Fear, Feel Loved Only Conditionally, Struggle , see Liver list   To Balance: Faith, Charity & God's Love, Clarity
Frontal Sinus: Possessive Dominance, Feeling Stuck, Feeling Vulnerable To Balance: Feeling Centered and Secure 
Gallbladder:  Rage, Intolerance of Others (Judgmentalness).  To Balance: Tolerance, Kindness

Heart: Heartache or Heartbreak, Loneliness, Feeling Not Good Enough, Worry, Traditional Sayings (heartsick, cold-hearted, broken-hearted, etc.)  To Balance: Love for Self and Love for Others, Reaching Out to Others in Service, Receiving Service From Others

Hypothalamus: Shame, Fear, Betrayal  To Balance: Understanding, Faith, Trust

Joints: Deprived. To Balance: Fulfillment

Kidneys: Fearful Isolation, Inner Fear, Shame   To Balance: Reaching Out to Others, Gentleness with Self, Faith

Large Intestine: Controlling, Holding On, Abandonment, Rejection   To Balance: Release, Surrender, Forgiveness.
Liver: Rage Against Self, Guilt, Rejection, Failure, Regret.  To Balance: Self-love and Acceptance, Self-forgiveness, etc.
Lungs: Grief Abandonment, Denial, Rejections, Total Despondency, Disharmony in Home  To Balance: Inspiration, Faith, Letting Go, Atonement

Lymphatic System: Abandonment, Anger, Failure, Guilt, Losing, Wrong   Ideas to Balance: Accept Atonement, Laughter, Forgiveness, Assurance
Maxillary Sinus: ? Check Bladder Meridian list

 Pancreas: Betrayal, Fatigue, Self-Judgment, Issues with Life, See Stomach Meridian list   To Balance: Trust, Alignment, Forgiveness of Self, Rejuvenation 

 Parathyroid: Disharmony  To Balance: Harmonize with Life and Others

Peripheral Nervous System: Victimized, Victim Consciousness, Despair. To Balance: put your foundation on Christ, Trust God, Patience
Pineal Gland: Fear of the Unknown, Misunderstanding of Spiritual Things   To Balance: Prayer and Meditation, Accepting God's Grace, Beauty, Serenity, Trusting God, etc. 
 Pituitary: Aloneness, Abandonment, Victimized or Victim Consciousness, See Central and Governing Vessel Meridians below.  Ideas to Balance: Acceptance, Atonement, Inner Strength. 

Reproductive Organs:There are many possibilities with this system. The main ones could be: Identity, Repression, Feeling Not Good Enough, Self-hate, Guilt.  Others: conflicting ideas about human sexuality, fear, loneliness, unresolved feelings towards mother, creativity issues, feelings of unworthiness, feelings about nurturing or being nurtured.  To Balance: I would pray for help in knowing what to do.

Skin: Criticism, Humiliation, Anxiety, Fear, Including Fear of Being Who You Are.  To Balance:   Unconditional Love, Honor Self and Others.
Small Intestine: Feeling Divided, Scattered, Pulverized. To Balance: Discernment, Decisive, Atonement.
Sphenoide ; Ethmoid Sinus: ? See Bladder Meridian, Central Vessel Meridian, Gall Bladder Meridian.

Spleen: Over-Compassionate, Inability to Assimilate Input, Guilt, Abandonment, Wrong.  To Balance: Fair to Self, Metabolize Input to Self, Self-Compassion.
 Stomach: Obsessive Worry, Abandonment, Fear of New, Control, Feeling a Victim.  To Balance: Trust God, Trust the Universe, Trust the Process, Take the Eternal Viewpoint

Teeth: This could be many things. Some people hold emotion in their teeth. See Donna Eden's book, Energy Medicine for a chart that relates each tooth to the relative meridian system.

Thymus: Anger, Failure, Losing, Wrong, Abandonment, See Central Vessel meridian below.

Thyroid Gland: Sadness, Injustice, Failure, Humiliation, Misunderstood, See Central Vessel meridian.

Urinary Tract: Kidney Meridian: Fearful Isolation, Shame, Misunderstood. To Balance: Gentle with Self, Move Towards Others (connect with others).
Central Meridian Vessel: Feeling Vulnerable, or in some cases, Feelings of Despair or Despondency.  To Balance: Feeling Centered and Secure, Putting Foundation on Christ.
Governing Meridian Vessel: Feeling lack of Courage or Strength to handle. May relate to deepest feelings about self.  To Balance: Self-Empowerment, Self-Efficacy, Putting Foundation on Christ, "I Can Do All Things In Christ, Who Strengthens Me."

Possible Emotional Roots Behind Depression and Most Anxieties

Ultimately, I have learned that depressive emotions boil down to the following.  You can just see which seems to be the closest to what you are experiencing, and then ask for help to heal from them.

• Anger (some call it Rage) at Self or Others.
• Inner or Outer Fear. (Afraid of inner experiences or outside experiences.)
• Inward or Outward Shame. ("Shame on me", or "They think I am shameful.")
• Inward or Outward Blame.
• Rejection of Self.
• Fear of Rejection.
• Hopelessness or Despondency,
• Sense of Destruction (Self or Other).
• Fragmentation of Heart or Soul.

I know this:  Either God wants you to heal from these destructive emotions, or He will provide a way for you to bear your depression and anxiety with a sense of hope. (R.I. Method says "there are NO hopeless cases." )

References:

Butcher, Mineka, Hooley. (2007). Abnormal Psychology
Eden, Donna. (1999). Energy Medicine 
Feinstein, D. (2004). Energy Psychology Interactive
Hay, L. (1998). Heal Your Body
Low, A. (1978). Mental Health Through Will-Training
Mein, C. L. (2004). Releasing Emotional Patterns With Essential Oils
K.K. Truman (2003). Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
Wauters, A. (2002).  The Book of Chakras

EFT Study on Major Depressive Disorder and More

A study using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for depression was published in the Current Research in Psychology Journal on July 12, 2014.  I am excited about this study because the participants that continued in the study saw very encouraging outcomes.  A number of the participants had additional conditions that also improved such as General Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Bulimia nervosa, etc. With Major Depressive Disorder on top of all that, these participants had plenty of stress to deal with!

I was very encouraged at the results, with p values as low as .00 and .01, and 95% Confidence Intervals.  There were promising participant results on the depression, anxiety, and stress scales.  In Comprehensive Energy Psychology (CEP), practitioners who work with depressed clients initially focus on correcting at least part of the Human Vibrational Matrix (Energy Field) for the EFT tapping to be effective.  (They initially work on correcting “Deep Reversals” of the body’s polarity.)  For those who have not found success with EFT, it is very possible they have a deep reversal or other energetic disturbances that are curtailing the effects EFT could bring.  I have had really good success in getting to the underlying causes of the energetic imbalances with clients using a method I learned at my BSFF training.  

I am happy to share this news! The study is called, “A Feasibility Study:  Emotional Freedom Techniques for Depression in Australian Adults” by Stapleton, Devine, Chatwin, Porter and Sheldon, and found in Current Research in Psychology Volume 5, Issue: 1, pp. 19-33.  The link is: hescipub.com/abstract/10.3844/crpsp.2014.19.33.  I hope you can access it, but you may have to be a member of the journal in order to do that.  (It's worth a try.)

 In connection with EFT I have had really good results with Donna Eden's "Daily Energy Routine".  There are some EFT practitioners that require clients to do this 6 weeks before they even come into therapy.  So for your convenience, here it is:-)

Addictions, Anxiety and ACEs: Empower Yourself With Tools to Heal

Calming Down Anxiety and Even Panic

One thing I love about working with students is helping them calm down from anxiety, or even an anxiety attack.  I am usually able to show them very helpful tools that help them feel better in short order.  Sometimes these tools can lead to beautiful emotional release. Other times it isn't so much emotional release that's needed, but education of what some of the underlying causes may be.

For example, one day a student was having what appeared to be a full-blown panic (anxiety) attack during a fire drill.  I noticed this student in the hall in “melt down” mode.  After the drill I was able to show the student some “Eden Energy Medicine” calming techniques (see below).  For example, the “Triple Warmer Smoothie” is a great way to calm down anxiety. At times I’ll have a student use EEM, while at other times it will be Jin Shin Jyustu, with them gently holding an appropriate finger while we talk. With one student we started doing EFT tapping, and that opened up a wonderful dialogue.  The students I’ve worked with this way are usually very intrigued and welcome the calming that comes.

Unfortunately as a school counselor I really don’t have time to work with students one-on-one on a continual basis.  (And there is so much a person can learn to do for long-term healing.)  That's why as a Life Coach I love having the time to empower people with education and tools to help them feel great!

ACEs and Anxiety, Depression, Obesity, Illness and Addiction and Emotional Release

I became interested in studying safe emotional release due to my own depression and anxiety that resulted from what are now called “Adverse Childhood Experiences,” or “ACEs”[i].  Recent studies have found that the more ACEs a child has, the more likely they are to have chronic depression, anxiety, obesity, and illnesses.  In fact, if a child has 4 or more ACEs, their risk of behavioral and learning disorders goes up 3200%! ACEs are often (but not always) behind addictions as well, so healing from the ACEs can be key to healing from addictions.  

Healing From ACEs

One big challenge in regular “talk” therapy is resolving trauma that occurred on a level that “talking about it” won’t readily resolve. Thankfully there are many safe, effective forms of emotional release coming out to help us heal ACEs (even ACEs that aren't remembered), with an ever growing body of studies to support these methods.  It is so exciting!

What Are "ACEs?"

[i] The following are classified as ACEs ("Adverse Childhood Experiences): Psychological, physical or sexual abuse to the child or the child witnessing explicit scenes of such as a child; substance abuse, divorce or parental separation, mental illness, battered mother, jail or prison time in the immediate family, and then experiencing emotional and physical neglect.  More recent ACE research finds a variety of experiences can be traumatic to a child that would not necessarily be traumatic to an adult. Childhood surgeries, acute childhood illnesses with high fevers, etc., can get lodged in the body as trauma that needs to be resolved.

To calm down anxiety and panic, I really like this Triple Warmer Smoothie and Triple Warmer balancing exercise done here by Prune Harris:

Natural Travel Sickness Remedy

Aid for Travel and Air Travel

I discovered a way to survive air and coach (bus) travel with little to no medication!  I was ecstatic to discover this, because I would get so sick that an Atlantic flight would be like having an 8-hour flu, and the bus travel meant continued nausea throughout the trip.  I really don’t like the drugged feeling that comes with Dramamine or even the drowsy feeling I got with the homeopathic preparation “Travella,” which I found in the London Heathrow Airport. But I will use those if necessary. Thankfully, when I figured out how to do these pressure points, I was able to make it using only one Dramamine going, and a few Travella coming back (no Dramamine–yes!.)

This method can help with any type of motion sickness, and it is much more potent for me than acupressure points.  This is what what I did:

I slipped off my right shoe, leaving my socks on.  Then I held the Reflexology Stomach Point on my right foot with my thumb (doesn’t matter which thumb), and visualized that I was grounding my stomach deep into the earth, calming my stomach, etc.

If my upset was mild, I found I could just hold the Reflexology Stomach Point on my left hand.  But if we hit turbulence when descending I eventually had to go for the foot point–it seemed to be more potent for me.  If you aren’t sure where the point is, just feel around your hand or foot in what seems like the general area.  The correct area will feel sensitive upon your touch.  Hold it, breath, and visualize as needed.

This worked like a charm for me! I went from total nausea to sleep–I actually slept on an airplane!  (I had held the point for about an hour or so.) I felt just a bit queasy upon arrival, but nothing like I used to be–either drugged to the max or feeling like I had a bad case of the flu.  I hope this can help you too.  It’s been a lifesaver for me.  I don't know if it would work on a stormy sea, but it's worth a try. 

   Stomach point on right foot (may be most effective)

 Left hand stomach point